Wednesday, May 26, 2021

Vanishing Twin

 Todays post is extremely difficult for me to write. It might be the most difficult thing I've ever written in my life. 

When I shared our announcement I briefly mentioned that we had been pregnant with twins and unfortunately lost our sweet baby B. Today I want to go into more detail about this pregnancy and the experience we've had. I have never felt as alone as I have while going through this. If I can write this and help someone else going through this someday and help them feel less alone, that's what I'll do.

The week of Christmas we found out we were pregnant. We had been struggling with infertility for 18 months at that point.  We were skeptical at every positive pregnancy test. I remember telling Tim I was pretty sure I was pregnant and him telling me he wasn't going to get too excited just in case it wasn't true.

Once I had taken what seemed like a million pregnancy tests and we were sure that I actually had managed to get pregnant we started to get excited and I scheduled my first appointments.

I should also mention that the month we got pregnant was my first month on Clomid. We knew that a possibility with Clomid was the increased likelihood of twins. My papa is a fraternal twin and I knew that in my family it was possible that I could end up with twins naturally. I have always been obsessed with the idea of being a twin (I blame the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen era) and having twins seemed like a dream to me. Yes, a lot more work than just having one baby...but it was something I hoped for. 

Due to COVID, Tim wasn't allowed into my ultrasound. As I laid on the table I wished for a healthy baby, just one healthy baby but two would be great too. The ultrasound tech giggled and I knew in that instant that I had my twins. I blurted out "Is it twins?!!?" and she confirmed that yes there were two babies in there, each in their own sac. Baby A was measuring four days ahead of Baby B, but she assured me that was completely normal. She printed out the ultrasound pictures and I literally skipped out to the car where Tim was waiting for me.

Afterwards, Tim said he could just see that I was happy and he thought it was just the relief that we had one healthy baby. When I handed him the pictures I said "Please don't kill me" and laughed. I explained that it was twins and all my obsessing much have worked and I manifested twins. I would often in the following weeks refer to it as manifested and now I regret that. I think Tim was in a slight state of shock but he quickly became excited as well. Two babies!

The date of our first ultrasound was January 22nd. Being 8 weeks pregnant, not everyone knew about the pregnancy but we had told our parents, siblings, and best friends that we were expecting. Of course everyone was anxious to hear about our ultrasound so we told everyone that we were expecting twins. Everyone was thrilled and we expressed our nervousness for having not just one but two babies. We talked about it at length. We discussed needing a bigger house, adding an addition, the extra cost-- basically all monetary concerns but we were so excited to welcome these two little babies into our family.

Then I went to my 10 week appointment.

On Thursday February 4th I had my 10 week appointment with my OBGYN. She used the in-room doppler and could only find one heartbeat. I had the option of sitting around in the waiting room hoping for an ultrasound appointment to open up or going home and waiting for a call. I chose to go home and unfortunately was not given an appointment until the following Monday February 8th. 

Those four days were absolute hell. I just held my stomach and cried. I prayed that both babies would be healthy. I begged and pleaded saying I would give anything to have two healthy babies. No amount of hoping, praying or wishing would matter.

On Monday I laid on the table as not one, but two ultrasound techs looked at Baby B and couldn't find a heartbeat. Baby A was healthy and developing normally but Baby B had stopped growing a few days after my first ultrasound. If you've ever had a miscarriage I imagine this feeling is similar. You wonder how you didn't know that something was wrong. You feel like a failure as a mother for having no idea that your baby wasn't alive anymore. I tried to hold it in but I just laid on the table and sobbed and sobbed. I have never felt more pain in my life. 

Tim was thankfully outside in the car (they again wouldn't let him inside due to COVID). He knew the second he saw me and I just collapsed into him in tears. I couldn't have asked for a more amazing husband, best friend and partner in life. He just held me while I cried. 

The aftermath wasn't fun. I had to tell everyone we had told about the twins two weeks prior that now we were only having one baby. I cried as I told Baby A that I was so sorry I couldn't give them their sibling and I cried as I told Baby B how much I wished they had been okay. I blamed myself, I think everyone does. Most people were very supportive and just told me they were there for me whatever I needed. There were a few who made the "wrong" comments and said it was for the best and there must've been something wrong with Baby B. If you EVER know someone who is miscarrying a baby please never never never make a comment like this. It does not help, it does not make the mother feel better, it only makes you seem like an asshole.

Now, I've never had a singleton miscarriage so I can't say for sure but I do believe they feel different. From everything I've read from people who have had both a singleton miscarriage and vanishing twin the difference is that when the miscarriage happens, the pregnancy is over. You are able to move on, getting pregnant again, or not. You can mourn the baby you lost. I was expected to feel thankful for the one baby I still had inside me and almost forget about Baby B. The pregnancy never ends, their is no closure and that has been the hardest part so far. Not one day goes by that I don't think about Baby B and how I wish they were still growing. 

I was angry and sad and devastated. It was hard for me to celebrate being pregnant for awhile. It was hard for me to make the announcement. It was hard to hear congratulations from people when I didn't want to be congratulated. It seemed like people were forgetting that it was supposed to be two babies, not just one. I was SO angry. I listened to a lot of Taylor Swift. this is me trying and evermore were two songs I listened to on repeat. 

I still feel devastated about our loss. I often feel guilty and depressed. This pregnancy has been hard. 

If you don't know what happens with vanishing twin it's not like a traditional miscarriage, at least not in the first trimester. The second baby ends up getting reabsorbed back into the mom or other baby. Baby B will always be a part of me and Ellie. We will always carry her with us. 

Now we don't know for sure, but since the blood work determined that Ellie was a girl there is a good chance that Baby B was a girl as well. Tim and I both feel that she was a girl. We had names picked out if we had twin girls, Ellie and Olivia. We chose to name our surviving baby Ellie Olivia, but also know that Olivia would have been the name of her sister. We did this to honor her and also acknowledge that she is a part of our family and always will be.

Going forward I'm not sure what will happen. Will I feel like I'm missing a baby at the time of birth? Will I always feel that there is a presence missing in our family? Will I look at other twins and burst into tears because my girl should have a twin beside her as well? These are all things I read other vanishing twin moms experienced. I can't predict the future but I am an extremely sensitive person and know that this will always affect me. 

I have heard from other women who have experienced miscarriages saying that it will all make sense later when I have future kids I will see my family is the way it is supposed to be. I don't think this really works for vanishing twin though because she always would've been able to be here. It's not as if I lost a baby and then got pregnant with another one. They were able to coexist. Everyones experience is different, I'm not saying that one is more or less valid than the other, just that it's comparing apples to oranges. I don't think you can compare miscarriage to vanishing twin, they are just too different. 

If anyone out there is going through vanishing twin, please feel free to reach out to me. My email is on the right side of my homepage and you can also message me on Instagram @balancingonmytoes. I have felt horribly alone throughout this entire process and it's hard to talk to people who haven't experienced it or people who have gone through something different and feel it's the same. It's just not. Living with a pregnancy that causes you joy and pain simultaneously is extremely exhausting, just know you are not alone.

Again, please reach out if you need me and I hope this helps someone, somewhere. 

Additional Resources on Vanishing Twin

Many of these articles helped me when I first found out. There weren't many people who wrote about this experience but knowing that there were a few people who felt the same things as me gave me hope and I hope it does the same for you.

Monday, May 24, 2021

10 Recent Amazon Buys

 Happy Monday friends! 

Can you believe next weekend is Memorial Day Weekend? Yesterday was a scorcher here. (If you don't know what a scorcher's how we say it's really hot in Rhode Island). So far we only have one A/C in our bedroom and haven't put in the other but the rest of the week it's not supposed to be quite as hot, so we decided to suffer through without our main area A/C for a little longer. 

Today I thought I would share all my recent Amazon purchases because I love seeing other bloggers post about what they've picked up recently. I shop on Amazon quite a bit because of the free two day shipping (sometimes next day!) and since I'm still not fully vaccinated I'm still not shopping in person all that often.  Hopefully that will change because I get my final shot on Friday!!

Let's get started!

Okay I haven't received this splash pad yet, but I totally bought it for my dogs! It should be coming in the mail today and I'm so excited for the girls to run through it. It has some wonderful reviews and a lot of people say they are surprised that it has held up so well with their dogs digging at it. I hope that works for us, but at least at $17 it really isn't an insane price so we will hopefully enjoy it for awhile. Also, next summer we will have an almost one year old and while she probably won't be running around, she might enjoy being carried through the sprinkler! 

Keeping it real over here...none of my bras fit me anymore. Since bras are expensive and I never seem to do a great job at finding bras that fit well I thought I would chance it and try out these. I quickly tried one on before throwing them in the wash, but it seemed to fit pretty well and I love that they are only $10 a piece. I will definitely be testing them out more and hopefully they'll work out great!

I actually purchased these baking cups for the cup holders in my car. I want to try to keep my cup holders clean and these are easy to pop out and rinse off. They are a little small but seem to be working so far! I might use the other ones for making muffins since I have so many. 

My Amazon account tells me that this is the third time I have purchased Folex cleaner which can only mean one's amazing! We had to purchase this quickly since we have a new little friend learning to potty train. Luckily this cleaner is great and removes stains like no other carpet cleaner I've ever seen.

These baby swaddles are so cute! I follow Coupon with Kayla on Instagram and TikTok and am also a part of her Telegram group and when she shared a deal on this set I had to order it. She has a lot of great deals so definitely check her page out if you love Amazon deals.

I have an Amazon registry for my planned drive by baby shower and put a couple of items on it that kept being sold out. I wanted to make sure I was able to get some of the items, so I picked this muslin swaddle blanket. I am obsessed with all things goldendoodle (obviously) and new that Ellie needed this blanket. 

Along the same lines...Ellie needed this lovie. I already know I'm going to be an "extra" mom, if you've seen the dog toy pile in my house you can imagine how I will be with my first human baby :)

So this dog paw washer is the first product on this list that I didn't love. My dogs get super dirty and then getting them wet just created a huge mess in my house. I think if we had a mud room it wouldn't be so bad because I could stop the dogs in one room but since they enter directly into the kitchen they make such a mess!

These sheets are awesome! We own two sets of them- one white and the newest one is in this light blue. They are so soft and comfy. I would 100% purchase them again. There is usually a deal on them too which is great if you are looking for a great deal on great sheets. 

I picked up this bookcase for Ellie's room and honestly it isn't great. It is made of really cheap material and I was very much hoping for a more solid bookcase. I might need to replace it a few years down the road, but for now it will hold her books and toys and it was super cheap. I mostly was just looking for something fairly inexpensive to hold us over. If that's what you're looking for too, it would certainly work but if you are looking for a long lasting piece of furniture, this is definitely not it!

Those are my 10 most recent Amazon buys! What have you picked up from Amazon lately? Anything you recommend?

Have a great day!

Wednesday, May 19, 2021

New Rugs!

Hi everyone! Today I thought I would share two quick decor updates that have arrived the last few weeks. Both are rugs but I think they are making a world of difference. 

We had a white and gray runner in our hallway from the My Texas House collection and I absolutely loved it. I really did think that it fit perfectly in the hallway and I am a huge fan of that collection...however with my two dogs the white was quickly turning darker and darker. If we had a second floor where the dogs wouldn't immediately run over the rug with their dirty feet. 

I was slightly disappointed to have to pick out a darker rug, but I ended up finding a pretty blue rug on Wayfair. 

For some reason it looks super small in this picture but it is the same size as the previous rug. 

I like that it's darker and definitely hides dog foot prints and the blue is very pretty but I do kind of miss my white rug!

The second rug that came in is the rug for Ellie's nursery! 

I really wanted a pink rug but nothing too intense. I think the light pink goes well with the starry sky wall paper and the neutral furniture. These pictures making the walls look darker than they actually are. 

I have quite a bit to still do in this room but I can't wait to share all the projects as we complete them! 

The girls were so proud that they helped me pull the old rug out and put the new one down. 

I love this picture of the girls! This shows how nice the rug looks with the white crib too. 

If you're looking for me I'll be over on Pinterest looking for more ideas for the nursery :)

Monday, May 17, 2021

Private Ultrasound Experience

Happy Monday everyone! 

Today I am sharing my experience of doing a private ultrasound. Normally, I wouldn't have paid for a private ultrasound if I'm being 100% honest. It's not something I would've considered necessary and since I've been able to see Ellie at multiple ultrasounds I wouldn't have normally been concerned with doing a 3D/4D ultrasound.  However, Tim hasn't been allowed in a single ultrasound. 

Now I've had several people tell me that it's not a big deal for your husband to be able to come to the ultrasound. I've had people share their experiences of their husbands missing one ultrasound or people tell me that ultrasounds didn't exist when they were pregnant. Please don't ever tell a woman that her husband not being there to see their child is not important. For me this pregnancy has been very real from the get-go. I felt sick, we dealt with our twin loss, and I just have felt pregnant. Tim hasn't been able to have any real eye-opening moments to feel like the pregnancy is real. He of course has driven me to two ultrasounds and seen all the printed pictures but he hasn't seen Ellie move on the screen and see how real it is. This was necessary.

After holding out through all my ultrasound appointments to see if he would be allowed in I finally gave in and scheduled a private ultrasound at Babies & Bellies. I picked an $85 basic 2D package which included 15 minutes of ultrasound, pictures and videos sent to my email or phone, and I was allowed up to 6 guests to come with me.

I decided that it would only be Tim and I because we needed that private moment for him to see our daughter for the first time. I thought that allowing anyone else in would take away from that special moment and I really wanted to watch his reaction.

On Saturday we headed into our appointment and got to see our little baby girl.

Now, I only paid for 2D...but they showed us 3D!! Look how cute she is! I couldn't see the lower half of Tim's face because of the mask requirement but afterwards he told me he smiled the entire time. I could see the absolute joy in his face though, it was such a special moment.

Of course I had only seen her in 2D up until this point so this gave me a better idea of what she actually looks like. It's still hard for me to get a good idea of what she will look like when she's on the outside. Our ultrasound tech was amazing and really took her time showing us everything. She showed us her foot that has been resting on my bladder (yup! knew that was happening!!) and showed us that she had her other foot pulled up but her face. She was trying to suck on the cord and also had her hand up by her face and was trying to get her thumb in her mouth again.

Her lips looked so full and I do think she has my nose, but it's hard to tell for sure! The ultrasound tech also told us to come back again so we could see her better when she's bigger. I am not sure that we will because it is pricey but it's nice that they offer multiple sessions if you'd like to do that.

Here's the 2D image, such a difference! 

Overall, it was an amazing experience and I am SO glad we went for the private ultrasound. If you are in the Rhode Island area I highly recommend Babies & Bellies. Everyone there was so nice and they send you off with a little gift bag full of free samples when you leave which is so sweet. 

Have you ever had a private ultrasound?

Wednesday, May 12, 2021

Life Lately

Guys, life lately has been spent with my two favorite furry ladies. 98% of the pictures in my phone involve these little girls but I wouldn't have it any other way. 


Rory has been loving her new life and home. We've been spending a lot of time outside in the beautiful spring weather. She loves playing with her big sister and often they can be found chasing each other around the yard. Puppy zoomies might be the cutest thing in the world! Rory is the happiest puppy and is just thrilled to be included all the time. She has no idea why Sophie gets excited but runs alongside her excited as well, just thrilled to be along for the ride! 

Oh Sophie our neurotic princess! She absolutely adores her baby sister and bringing her home was the best  thing we could've done for Sophie. She loves being a big sister and is so good to Rory. She's so gentle with her and lets her climb all over her but also so playful. It was truly the best decision to get a second puppy even though it was a crazy first month as a family of 4 (+1 cooking!).

You don't often see one without the other, they stick pretty close! 

We took Sophie for her most recent grooming appointment and Rory worked on riding in the backseat with her sister. We were nervous at first but they do great in the backseat together. Rory is learning how to look out the window like her big sister does. We did discover she is a lot calmer than Sophie in the car and when we brought her home while Sophie was getting groomed, Rory was sleeping in the back seat...something that has never happened with Sophie!

Tim has been bringing home extra turf from work for us! Our goal is to get all the dirt areas in our backyard covered with turf to keep out house less dirty. We are hoping to have this done soon and possibly get our front yard done this summer too.

Please ignore our mess of a deck, we desperately need to get it redone. I'm hoping this might be our project next spring...right now we have too much else to get done first!

I still have a ton to do in Ellie's room, but my mom bought this cute E print from Marshalls and I love it! I need to find and order a rug and need to complete our closet DIY, but we are working on it! 

I have been very into clearance shopping for baby Ellie! You guys know I am always on the hunt for a deal and baby shopping has been my main focus lately. If you see any great deals please let me know!

Last Saturday I headed into Walmart where I found diapers for $6 and onesies for 75 cents! I also headed to TJMaxx where I spent $50 on a ton of clearance finds.  I know we will be getting a ton of gifts for Ellie and that everyone loves to buy baby clothes, but I just can't help myself. I love getting a good deal and I really don't want to pay full price for baby items.

Again, if you see any diaper/wipes/baby deals please share them with me!!

I hope you are all doing well and I will try to do better at taking pictures in the future!!

Monday, May 10, 2021

April Empties

Today I'm bringing back a blast from the past....Empties!

I used to do empties posts all the time and decided in April it would be fun to save all my empty household and personal care items to share with you.  

Household Empties

Tide Laundry Detergent- I've been using a lot of Tide lately. I do really like it but I have been trying to do coupon and clearance shopping so I'll be trying out a bunch of different laundry detergents and scents coming up.

Downy Unstopables Scent Boosters- If you haven't tried these, definitely check them out! They make our clothes smell amazing. I keep purchasing them because I am so addicted to how good our clothes smell when I use them. 

Lysol Wipes- A hard to find item in 2020, I use these mainly in my bathroom. I prefer an antibacterial product to clean the bathroom and Lysol wipes makes cleaning the bathroom a breeze.

Mrs Meyers Basil Dishsoap- This is my favorite dishsoap and we constantly have a stockpile of it. I am planning on doing more couponing going forward though so we may be using some different products in the future. 

Mrs Meyers Acorn Spice Multisurface Spray- This is a fall exclusive and every year I order a ton of this on Grove Collaborative. I will definitely pick this up again this fall because it is such a warm, fall scent and reminds me of my favorite candle from Bath and Body Works (leaves). 

Bath and Body Works Tiki Beach Candle- I liked this candle, but it definitely wasn't my favorite. I would repurchase a lot of other candles before I buy this one again. I do like the Tiki Beach line but it wasn't very strong in candle form.

Bath and Body Works Turquoise Waters Hand Soap- I really liked the color and design on this hand soap. The scent was great too, but I thought it looked really cute in my bathroom. I would definitely purchase this again. 

Personal Care Empties

Macadamia Deep Repair Mask- My favorite conditioner of all time! I can always get tangle free hair with this conditioner and it's just so rich and conditions my hair so nicely. I always pick this up at TJMaxx which saves a ton of money. 

Bath and Body Works Twilight Woods Body Wash- This body wash was really nice. I would definitely repurchase this in the future. I really love Bath and Body Works shower gels and I try to always get different scents to try them out. Twilight Woods was definitely a heavier scent which probably makes more sense to use in the fall, but I really enjoyed it!

(2) Cake Batter Chapsticks- I love my cake batter chapstick and have been using it religiously for years. Tim purchased a TON for me this past Christmas and I'm not sure I will even need any for a over a year! We will see how long they last me.

Lavanilla Deodorant- I really like this deodorant! I feel better about using an aluminum-free deodorant and this one has worked great for me for years. I currently am working on a different one, but I will probably repurchase Lavanilla in the future.

That's all for April Empties! I am planning on continuing this series because I always love empties posts and seeing what other people finish up in a month. I have been trying to complete items before opening the next and with couponing I've been buying different products so I will have different products to share with you guys going forward.

I hope you had a great weekend and have a great start to your week!

Wednesday, May 5, 2021

What I've Bought For Baby Gooding (Ellie) So Far// How I Plan To Save Money// Nursery Sneak Peek

 Happy Wednesday everyone!!

You know I am a huge shopping addict but also that I am a couponer and I love to save money. I am so excited to purchase all the baby girl items but I also don't want to break the bank so I thought I would share what I've gotten so far for our sweet girl and how I'm trying to save money.

If you haven't already heard our baby girls name will be Ellie. I ordered this cute name puzzle off of Amazon because I had one as a child and I just think it's so adorable. This was $34.18 on Amazon and I think it was completely worth it. I also used it for our name and gender reveal so we were able to share her name with the world!

Another Amazon purchase was this bookshelf for $34.38 which I would not recommend. It's pretty flimsy honestly and I wish I had held out for a more sturdy bookshelf but since I rushed into it this what we have!

So far the only books I've put on this shelf have either been on clearance, were books I already owned or were gifted to us. I had several of my childhood books still so I love that I can pass those down to Ellie. I've also done a ton of scanning at Walmart to get books for less than $1 each. We've also been gifted a few books and I of course had to put them in rainbow order :)

The stroller was gifted to us by my mom! She has been so unbelievably generous and I know she is so excited for her first grandchild. I will point out several items she's purchased for us and I can already see how spoiled this little girl is going to be.

The dresser in the background was mine as a baby so that was completely free. You can also see the wooden toy that my friend Brittni gave us to borrow. The Huggies diapers were all purchased for less than $12 total for three packs at Dollar General. I have been couponing diapers whenever I get a chance! I am working on building up a big diaper stockpile and getting an array of diapers. 

I couldn't help myself picking up this Doodle on Amazon for $20.64. With two big sister doodles Ellie needs to represent them! 

My mom purchased the crib for us which was so generous. The crib mattress was passed down to us from my friend Brittni. I did purchase a mattress protector at Walmart to keep it safe, I can't remember the exact price of the mattress protector but it was cheap. 

The wallpaper was my major splurge.... I purchased this off Etsy and it was very pricey for the four panels we needed. I think it was totally worth it though.

This rug will not be staying, we will be purchasing a new rug. I am looking for a pink rug but I haven't found anything I love yet for a price I'd like to pay. I'm going to keep looking though!

I have a fun project that Tim will be doing and this closet should look totally different soon! I've been storing things we will gift Ellie for future holidays on the top shelf (all clearance items). I ordered a Belle dress for her from Disney, which again... couldn't help myself! I also picked up a cute robe at HomeGoods for her. 

On the floor I have a bunch of toys that Brittni has passed down to us. We have two little seats we purchased for $9 a piece when we thought we'd be having twins. Since we got such a great deal on them we will send one to my moms house since she will be watching Ellie two days a week. We have an outdoor shade area that Rachel passed to us which has never been used. I also have a ton of diapers, wipes, bottles, etc that I've gotten for free with all the registry boxes/bags I had signed up for. I will be sorting through everything soon and getting this much more organized so I will share that later on. 

I've started organizing her drawers as well. Everything in these drawers was either purchased on clearance or purchased for us. My mom of course bought the Minnie Mouse sunhat and the Carters sunglasses. I have purchased a ton of bows and hats for her- all on clearance. 

In this drawer I have bibs, burp cloths, socks, and mittens. I bought these drawer organizers on Amazon and so far they've worked out great! I may have to purchase some more. 

Quick question for you. How much of all of this did you have for your baby? How many bibs/burp cloths/ etc? I don't want to have to do laundry daily but I also don't want to purchase too much. 

My mom purchased this changing table/dresser for us as well. I've started filling it up with clearance clothes! In the bottom drawer I am keeping bigger size clothing. We've also received a few outfits as gifts already too. 

This middle drawer is filled with newborn, 0-3, and 3-6 clothing for now. I am trying to keep everything sorted but I might have to move some of the bigger sizes into the bottom drawer if we have more clothing in smaller sizes. I went a little crazy in the Walmart clearance section and I've also been watching Kohls clearance and Old Navy clearance to grab items as I see them. When I organized everything though I realized that I don't have that many items and definitely need to pick up some more! 

Also, I want to point out that Brittni's sister Katie was getting rid of a bunch of toys and offered them to us and you can see some of them in the bottom right of the above picture. I am so thankful for so many toy hand me downs because I know how expensive kids toys can be! We obviously want to purchase plenty of items for her new as well but knowing that we have plenty of hand me downs as well makes me feel like we don't need to run out and buy things immediately. 

The top drawer of her changing table has diapers and wipes. Brittni gave us some small diapers she had leftover from her girls and the other items have all been free from signing up for random things online. We received a free package of Hello Bello newborn diapers by filling out a form online and then received a bunch of diapers in our registry gift bags. 

I read online that diapers should cost no more than 20 cents per diapers and wipes no more than 2 cents per wipe. I've been trying to stick to that when I see deals and have managed to get quite a few so far!

Look at those proud big sisters! They have no clue what's going on, but they do like hanging out and wrestling in this room!

I picked up the Belle doll from Disney, some of these blankets and stuffed animals were gifts and the toys were all on clearance. The star blanket was a surprise sent to us by Rachel, the soft white blanket and little bear was given to us by my mom right when we first found out I was pregnant. The pink and white blanket that you can see on the right hand side was given to us by my mother in law who knows someone who hand made it. My uncle and his girlfriend sent us the bunny which was such a sweet surprise. 

One more peek at the crib and gorgeous wallpaper! 

I've been trying so hard to buy everything on clearance or a sale, and I think I've done pretty well so far but I have definitely splurged on a few things! I am currently 22 weeks pregnant so I still have plenty of time and will be doing a drive by baby shower but I want to make sure we have everything we need for her. 

I should also mention we did purchase the SNOO when it was on a 15% off sale. I picked up the snow and two sets of sheets for it which totaled about $1400. It will all arrive in August and be here before she is born. I do need to get back on the snow website to order swaddles for her that work with the SNOO. 

How many outfits do I need per size? What items are your must haves for babies? Please share with me!!

Monday, May 3, 2021

Baby Girl Name Reveal...

 Today I'm sharing Baby Gooding's official name!

Our baby girl will be......

Ellie Olivia Gooding! 

One of the first times Tim and I talked about having kids I mentioned that I loved the name Ellie for a girl and he said he loved it as well. It stuck all these years and we knew if we had a daughter her name would be Ellie.

When we were thinking up names for twins we decided if we had two girls Olivia would be the second girls name. Although we will never be 100% sure we both agree that we think Baby B was a girl. While we will never get to meet Baby B here on Earth, we wanted to honor her and have given Ellie the middle name Olivia. Since Baby B was absorbed by both me and Ellie she will always be a part of us and although it might seem strange it just gives me more peace about the entire situation.

We've are so excited to meet her and have a private ultrasound scheduled for this month so Tim can see her move and hear her heartbeat for the first time. Unfortunately, he has not been allowed in any appointments or any ultrasounds throughout this pregnancy due to covid. I'm hoping Ellie will be bouncing around during our private scan so he can truly get to see what I've been seeing this whole pregnancy!

I hope you all have a wonderful day! Thanks for stopping by my little corner of the internet :)